I gained eighty pounds when I was pregnant with my twins (I lost fifty of those pounds the day after they were born). I was big and cumbrous. My breasts swelled from 34A to 36D. At 5’3 and petite, my babies had nowhere to go but out. The day I had a positive pregnancy test, I already couldn’t fit into any of my pants.
I had a lot of misconceptions about the pregnant body before I got pregnant, so I was completely unprepared for how pregnancy turned me carnal. It upped and amped my senses. I loved the feel of silk sliding across my bare skin, or the smell of eucalyptus candles and my husband’s cologne. I ate warm basmati rice and madras lentils and moaned.
The trope is that women’s libidos plummet when they get pregnant. It makes sense. They’re often vomiting through the first trimester, and then they’re perpetually uncomfortable through the rest.
I didn’t have a good nights’ sleep for months before my babies were born. I had terrible acid reflux and my body was so huge that sleeping on my side without support for my great whale of a stomach strained my back.
I also was unable to have sex for ten weeks because the placenta of one of my twins covered the cervix (called placenta previa). My OB put me on “pelvic rest.” Nothing could enter my vagina. If I went into preterm labor, the placenta could separate from the uterine wall and my baby would have suffocated. I also had to be put on bedrest.
But the pregnant body is a carnal body. I wasn’t disinterested in sex during my pregnancy. My desire was majorly heightened. Sensual touch lit up all of the nerve endings along my skin like my body was a great pool of water, each touch rippling through me. My orgasms rocked me so hard I was left blinking and stunned.
Nothing could enter my vagina, but sure as fuck was I getting my clit rubbed whenever I could.
Women gain about 3 pounds of blood during pregnancy, and most of that blood flows below the waist. That extra blood flow can help women orgasm more powerfully or more easily.
There are some very real reasons not to have penetrative sex when you’re pregnant that your doctor will discuss with you. You also may be simply uninterested as is very common.
You must also be more careful in some ways. If you and your partner are not mutually monogamous, use condoms. If your partner is going to eat you out, he or she must not blow air into your vagina. If you experience heavy bleeding, leaking of amniotic fluid or painful cramps that don’t go away after sex, you should call your provider or go to the emergency room. It’s normal to have some cramps or spotting after sex when you’re pregnant, but if it’s intense, you need to call someone or be seen.
Regardless of these caveats, if you and your partner are down, pregnant sex can rock your world.
Your babies are well protected inside of you, so a dick or a dildo is not going to hurt the baby unless you have one of the issues above.
Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy may be uncomfortable or even unsafe during later stages of pregnancy. Missionary after the fourth month of pregnancy puts pressure on major blood vessels because of the weight of your growing baby. Try these positions instead:
Woman on top
This position puts you in control of how fast, slow and comfortable you are during sex. Also if you’re comfortable getting your titties rubbed, go for it. They’ll be more sensitive and it may actually be more likely that you’ll orgasm just from breast stimulation. This is also a great position for you or your partner to stroke your clit.
Lay sideways with your partner lying behind you. Having sex in this position helps lower the amount of pressure placed on your stomach. This also makes it easy for you to stroke your own clit if you’re able to reach around your stomach.
This position works best during the first and second trimester because it lowers the pressure placed on your belly. You may also like having the ability to rub your breasts against the sheets. As your belly gets bigger, this position may become uncomfortable.
Being pregnant and having sex may seem daunting. You’re carrying life and it can be difficult and frightening to navigate this new animal self of yours, but if you’re horny and are willing to be safe, you can have some of the most intense orgasms of your lifetime.